butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
