Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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