we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize