Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
