She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
