Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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