I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
