I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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