it wasn't lemon gatorade
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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