thus making me awesome and them whores
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize