thus making me awesome and them whores
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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