Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
