You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Still dying that you shit outside
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
