I wanna bring you to show and tell
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
