I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
