I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
