That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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