It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
