he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
