i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
