Non-Jews are for practice
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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