Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
