I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
