Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
