This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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