So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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