hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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