She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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