They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
