i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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