On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
