It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
