I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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