In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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