watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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