Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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