I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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