Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Too much gin, very little bucket
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
