I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
