at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
