so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
