i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
