Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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