i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
