oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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