im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
