Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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