your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
