I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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