I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
