god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
