just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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