dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
