Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
