So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
