Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
